Change? ME!?!

As I look back at my wedding photos that we have hanging on the walls of our house, I often times look at my husband and I and wonder, who are those two love birds?

My husband has a few less hairs (I had to add few) and I had fewer gray hairs. We practically look like babies. Where did the time go? Where did we go? We used to be fun and wild, crazy, and free. Did he change? Did I change?

We are going to be celebrating our tenth anniversary this year and as I reflect on the past years, I see how our lives constantly transform.

Quite honestly, I am glad I am not that girl anymore in some ways and in some ways I miss her a bit.

Do you ever wish you could go back and tell your younger self a thing or two or three or are you glad you had to figure it out the hard way?

Often times you hear couples say, especially in times of struggle, “You’re not the guy or girl that I married.” 

Some of you may be thinking Hallelujah, and others may be holding onto resentment or bitterness toward the fact that your spouse is not the same person.

When Scott and I first got married, we struggled, as many couples do, in our first years of really settling in together. Things become quite different; kids come along, the daily grind grinds in, and life becomes well, life. But that man I fell in love with is now my best friend.

What Happens? Those two people that often got married and were head-over-heels in love, start to change.

Some of us are open to the changing relationships in our lives but some people are saying, Change? Me!?! 

We quickly respond, “I am the same person or I am not the one that changed.”

Let’s be real, we all change.  We were not the same in first grade as we were when we were seniors in high school. We were not the same when we began college or our careers as we are five or ten years later.

People have to change, they have to adapt to the changing environment and life around them. It can be amazing, you can become a better person, or it can be detrimental and you can go in the opposite direction.

I don’t stress over our changing marriage. In fact, I look forward to new things and new phases, and praise God for renewed mercies every morning.

 I feel our marriage is better now than when it began. My husband and I have grown together and created a bond grounded in faith. With the grace and mercy of our Heavenly Father, we are not only surviving but we absolutely enjoy each other.

I am not saying that we never struggle, but we have an ingredient that is, what I believe, key to any marriage. It is grounded in faith and held together by a foundation in a God that is bigger than all our issues, all our changes, and all our finicky ways we bring to our relationship.

If you are in a marriage or any relationship, where you won’t change or the other person won’t change, you will come into struggles. Change is essential. Just as you get up and change your clothes everyday (hopefully), you have to change you attitudes and behaviors to work together and that is okay.

Don’t be afraid to change.

Embrace the change.

Embrace the opportunity for new beginnings and being able to sing a new song.

The key or the essential element to any strong relationship is the reliance on a GOD that doesn’t change. He is eternally constant. He is eternally consistent.

So as we change, as we grow, as we mature, we have a constant that we can rely on to never change. His promises are the same. His expectations of us are the same, day to day.

The awesome thing about serving an eternal God is He sees the big picture, in fact He sees the whole picture. When we see only our day to day or our past, He knows our future. He knows what He has in store for us, for our families, for our marriages, and for our friendships.

Personally, I have had to grow up a lot in the past ten years. Every time I have a struggle it comes down to this, Asking God to change ME. 

No matter whom the relationship has involved: family, friends, spouse, children, acquaintances, and people I met in my everyday life, God has required my submission.

He has left me in my, sometimes miserable, state until I have realized, I cannot change people, but He can. What I can do is ask a God who is bigger than any situation I have ever faced to

Change Me!

I have asked a God that is bigger than all my struggles to make me more like Him. It is not always easy, but often times, a necessary change.

Psalm 102 is a prayer of one overwhelmed with trouble, pouring our problems before the Lord.

Do you ever feel like the overwhelmed person pouring out you problems before the Lord?

Here is some constant reassurance for you, Psalm 102:27-28 says: But YOU are always the same; YOU will live forever. The children of your people will live in security. Their children’s children will thrive in your presence.”

We can't say that about the people in our lives but we can say that about an AWESOME GOD!
So you can put your hope and faith and trust in Him.

So as you face your next struggle or next encounter that may not be a pleasant one, challenge yourself in this way, ask God, to make a real change, but ask Him to make it in you.

Please leave comments below and read from others about their journeys.


  1. So good to come across your post through Suzie's #livefreeThursday. Just found out yesterday that we have to move in the next few months... from the house I've been in for 12 years, the one all four of our kids have lived in the whole time with us. It's sudden and I want to cry out, "Change? (Why) me?" but you remind me it's the chance for a new song. Thank you.

  2. Laurie, Thank you for stopping by from #livefree Thursday. I pray that your family has a good transition into a new home where you will be able to make more memories with those four little darlings and that you will all be singing a new song of praise.


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James 1:17
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