My Hope In Him

My life has been full of ups and downs, like a ship sailing on the open sea sometimes the storms seemed as if they would never end. Anyone ever sailed that ship? One minute it is as if all is going smoothly and calmly; the next it is as if a raging storm came out of nowhere.    

I have been shattered, smashed, broken and reduced to rubble. Most of my disastrous times have been created by my own disobedience.

Tonight, as I was having a conversation about God’s Word with one of my favorite people, my grandma, we were talking about sin and continuing on the path of sin.
When I was a young preteen, I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. However, as I came into my teen years my life quickly turned into rebellion. Rebellion against what you may be asking. Rebellion against God.

Rebellion against God and His standards or the way He wants us to live is a sin.

You see, I was not a bad person, so to say. By the world’s standard, I was probably pretty good. Following my heart, Following my instincts and following what made me happy. Isn’t that what we are told to do?

But often times, I felt a conviction and emptiness in my soul that I couldn’t run from. No matter how much I did or how far I ran, my soul was truly in agony. I tried every way I could to escape the feeling but in many ways, I was being convicted by the Holy Spirit.

I continued down that path until I came to the point where I just flat out ignored anything that was condemning my guilty soul.

David describes this agony in Psalm 32:3-4. He says: When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.  

The Lord’s hand was heavy upon me and when I pressed back I just got lower and lower. I believe one of my lowest points was being curled up on a bathroom floor crying out, “I am a good person.”

The problem with my thinking was I thought I deserved better because I was “good”. The truth was, I deserved what and where I was. The choice to continually rebel against God and never confess any one of my sins to Him landed me at the bottom of a dark pit.

I was stubborn. I thought only I could possibly know what was best for my life.

Until I came to the point when I realized this way of life was no longer for me. Until I cried out to the Lord to rescue me from this path I had chosen, I felt the heaviness of my sin. I felt the burden of my choices.

Until I came to my Lord with all my broken pieces and confessed my sins, was He able to begin to restore me. David says in 
Psalm 51:17: The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. God, You will not despise a broken and humbled heart.  

I love those moments when God humbles a stubborn heart.  The moment you realize there is no other way.

I love to look back on the times, I was lifted up, not by my own strength but by God’s amazing grace.

From the bottom of the wreckage that I created in my life, that sometimes seemed to have no way out, was a Father waiting with open arms. Willingly waiting to receive me into His loving arms.

Today, I stand humbly before my God, asking Him to 
establish my footsteps in His Word (Psalm 119:133) because His Word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path (119:105).
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Through seeking forgiveness and the blood of Jesus Christ, I am redeemed. My sins have been paid for on the cross and they have been washed as white as snow.   

Because of His grace and mercy, I am compelled to share what He has done for me and in my life. I don’t have to live in the past. I don’t have to let my past define me today. I am defined by a gracious and loving Father who has made me new and has made His own.

Because of Him, I have hope in this life that I could get in no one and nothing else. My God-sized emptiness is now filled with hope. Hope and deliverance from my past, hope for my present life and hope for my future!

We put our hope in the Lord.
He is our help and our shield.
In Him, our hearts rejoice,
For we trust His holy name.
Let your unfailing love surround us, LORD,
For our hope is in you alone.

                                 -Psalm 33:20-22

Dear Younger Me

As I was sitting on my grandma’s front porch swing, one of our favorite places to talk, we were recalling the lives of David and Solomon.
David and Solomon were kings. David was the shepherd boy, who was the anointed king chosen by God. God had sought out a man after his own heart (1 Samuel 13:14) and chose David. Solomon was his wise son and heir to the throne. Although this sounds like a pretty good deal for both of them, they faced many hardships and trials in their lives. 

As we were talking about their lives my grandma said to me, “You know I am pretty old. You know my birthday is next month. Do you know how old I am going to be?” I said, “Eighty, let’s go with eighty.”
One thing I don’t like facing is my grandma getting older. My grandma has been my best friend, my confidant, she is a prayer warrior and the person whom I can talk to endlessly about the Word of God. She has been an amazing source of wise council. 

Jokingly, I said to her, “It is not like you have somewhere to be.” We both laughed, and she said, “At least in heaven I won’t have to scrub floors and clean out my cabinets.” 

My grandma has passed along a lot of wise words during my life. As I thought about her life and how fleeting it must sometimes seem. I thought about my life, the life of King David’s and the life of his son Solomon.

Often times, as we grow older, we say, “Oh, if I only knew then what I know now.”

So what would I say to the younger version of me?

First off, I would tell her that someday she will be the wife of an amazing, tall, dark and handsome godly man. She will be the mother of three beautiful children who will love her endlessly.

I would tell her that her adventuresome spirit will take her to many amazing places and to remember to love the people while she is there.

I would tell her that she will make many mistakes along the way and for that carry lots of guilt and shame for many years.
I would say that she will have her heart broken more times than she can count and face trials that will seem to never end.

I would want her to know that she will feel a heartache in losing children that will seem incomprehensible.   
I would want her to know that life is but a vapor and that always following her own desires is like chasing the wind. No man, no location, no thing will deliver what God alone can give her. 

True happiness will come from a God that has redeemed her and paid a ransom for her because she is precious to Him and because HE loves her.

Above all of life’s ups and downs, I would want her to know that in her dwells a God that will never let her go. No matter how far she runs, He will chase after her because He has called her His own. He is a God that has forgiven her and she will need to believe and trust that for herself so she can, in turn, forgive herself.
He will be her hope and her refuge when there seems like no way out. He will be her guiding light when all else seems dark. He will cover her in the cleft of the rock when she is scared. He will be her peace that surpasses all her understanding.

One day, young lady (that is what I will call her because I am older than her) you will look back at all of this and realize no matter how hard it was or how great it may have seemed, it was nothing without God. For in Him, you will find your true purpose, your true calling, your true hope.

I will tell her that I love her because she has a beautiful heart and to treat it well because one day we would give it ALL to our Lord and then our life will never be the same.
And the two of us would hug because we would be crying our eyes out and I would send her on her way to becoming the person that God has made her today. Truly blessed in every way.

So if you had the chance to tell yourself what you know now, what would you want your younger self to know?

Join in the discussion below and  Share comments and encourage others in their journeys.

Your Encouraging Words

Thank you Lord Jesus for all of your blessings. May I use them to bless the lives of others just as they have blessed me.
Here are a few reasons that I love writing. I can go back and look at how God has been blessing my life.

For instance, earlier this month I was really struggling with some things in my heart. I wrote about them in a post titled, Time Alone.  My struggles were, I believe, the result of some unconfessed feelings I may have been harboring.

The thing was I wasn’t even able to recognize the feelings. I finally asked God to just forgive this attitude in my heart and in that He helped me identify what those feelings were and I gave them to Him.
First blessing, what an Awesome God that we have that He is able to help us identify our feelings and heal us from any that are not pleasing to Him.

Second blessing, among many, I was able to reach out to a reader and suggest t her that journal her feelings or struggles, pray over them, and in doing that she could look back and see how God has blessed her through certain situations.

I was excited to help someone with their journey in walking with Christ.  I am a teacher at heart and any time I can help someone it feels great. The blessing came through her words to me.
Her gratitude and her encouraging words to me were such inspiration to my heart at this late hour. I just praise God for those moments. May we look for His blessings in every situation.

I recently wrote a post called Nothing Holding Me Back. You see, I sometimes feel like the things in my life may be distracting me or pulling me away from God's heart.
The truth is God put us where He wants us to be. We need to give Him our whole heart in those moments or in those places. When our heart begins to fade we need to call on the Great Healer to strengthen us and refresh our souls.

One reader commented about this post and I have thought about what she was saying for a long time but God put her words straight to my heart. I realized what a blessing God is giving me in allowing me to write and share with other people and what a blessing others have been to me.     
I hope that you are enjoying reading this blog. I absolutely enjoy writing it. It means a lot of late nights so you will have to excuse my dark circles but what a blessing it has been.

I would just like to encourage anyone that is reading this to please share in the comments below. 1 Corinthians 12:27 says were are many individuals but one body of Christ.  I know it takes a little extra time out of your day but what you may not realize is the blessing your encouraging words and your stories are to not only to me but to everyone who is reading. Together we can build up the body of Christ.
You have an amazing week and please keep Sharing the Love of Jesus in your life.

Am I Giving My All

I want my heart to say…

                                      Nothing is holding me back from giving God my all.

But the truth is life happens. We get busy. Being a mom of busy young ones keeps me on my toes. The piles they make seem to get bigger by the second. I can clean up one mess and a mess is forming somewhere else.

I have kids to entertain and I don't want to miss a moment of that. I have a husband I vowed my heart to and a house to tend and clearly that is not going so well. My heart and my strength begin to grow weary.

Remember that little green Gumby guy you could stretch in all directions and somehow he would stay in tack. That is my heart and sometimes my limbs.

The question I keep asking myself is, “How can I give my whole heart to God?”

It is what He asks of us. To love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength.

I wonder if I am doing that right. I wonder if it is enough. I wonder if I am letting Him down.   

I think about God all day long. I wonder how He could have chosen me. With all my flaws, my insecurities, my lack of godly virtues at times. Anybody ever sailing this rocky ship with me?

Praise God I am a work of constant transformation.

          This is what I am working on…

I give God - me. He knows me. He knows my flaws. He knows my insecurities. He knows I am not always a woman of upstanding character. In Matthew, we are told that even the very hairs on our head are numbered.  

Yet HE chose me. If you are a believer in Christ, He chose you. Isaiah 43:1 tells us, “But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel, "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!”

So in the midst of all my human ways, I can draw on the strength and power of a living God. Because my Creator, My Lord, the one who formed me and carefully knit me in my mother’s womb, Now… He says, I don’t have to fear.

 He has called me by name. He has ransomed me. He has paid the price for me to be free from feeling like things are holding me back from giving my whole self. He says, “YOU ARE MINE.”  

He wants us in the middle of where we are right now. A mom, a spouse, a co-worker, a friend, wherever He put you, you are there to give Him your whole heart, right there. 

A wise woman recently told me, “I don’t have to worry about letting God down because I was never holding Him up.” Thank you grandma for all you’re guidance.

I don’t need to be super-human. I can’t do this journey alone. I wasn’t meant to. I can look to God’s Word and draw on the power of The Spirit and there I can be restored.

When my strength begins to fade, I can remember Psalm 28:7. The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.

When my soul becomes weary, I can be sure of Matthew 11:28 Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

 When my mind begins to wander, I can be refreshed by Philippians 2:1-2 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.

When my heart feels faint, I can be assured that I belong to God. Jesus said in John 14:1-3 Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. "In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.”

Oh Glorious Day!

Surrendering our whole heart, our whole life to God, isn’t always easy. Take heart my friend. He has gone to prepare a place for us and when He calls us home, He will call us by name.  

What will you do until that day? Will you be able to say, “Nothing was holding me back from being the one He called me to be?”  

Re-Share by clinking on the links below. And Share your comments below so we can be encouraged by each of our stories. 

Time Alone

Currently, I am doing a fantastic Beth Moore bible study called David Seeking a Heart Like His. I am not sure how many of you have been in bible studies before. There are several things I love about doing bible studies.

One, you can be in a group of women or men and you can have authentic fellowship with them.

Two, there is nothing sweeter that brings a group together than prayer and digging in the Word of God together.

Three, getting deeper into the Word of God gives you those intimate moments with Him. Since I love learning, I love that my assignments are reading and spending time alone with God.

I love reading and studying God’s Word. It is not only fascinating it helps me to understand who God really is. If you want to follow someone, you should get to know them and His Word will do exactly that.

If you are not a believer, the Word of God may not make much sense to you. If you would like to have a conversation about committing your life to Christ drop me an email or you can follow this link .

If are a believer in Christ, studying The Word of God is essential to gaining a mature relationship with Him.

I am not here to sell you on bible studies. I enjoy them for the reasons I listed. What I am encouraging you to do today is to pick up your Bible and dig into God's words, which can be done in a number of ways.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Christ communicates to us with His Word and what an amazing opportunity to have that kind of intimate relationship with our Creator. As a servant of Christ, Paul tells us in Timothy that His word is for teaching, correction and disciplined development.

Paul also tells us in Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

You see when I get “busy” in my life and I begin to wander from that intimate time spent alone with God. My heart begins to wander. My mind begins to wander. My thoughts and attitudes begin to stray from God’s will to my own will.

God’s Word is living and active. When I need a Word from God, every time, I can ask Him to open my heart and guide me to what he wants me to learn. It is not always immediate because sometimes He is working something else out in me. Many times, however, I will go right to a passage and God will guide me and comfort me with the words that I read because He desires that relationship with me.

Recently, the past several weeks, I felt like there was a distance between God and myself. I just kept feeling like there was something He needed to teach me so I was feeling this turmoil. Literally, like an oil spill this attitude has been pouring out all over my family.

This struggle felt deep in my soul and I was feeling sadness and heartache. Finally, after wrestling this one through with God and digging in His Word, I just asked Him for forgiveness of any bad feelings that I have been harboring.

I asked Him to forgive me for my attitude, my negative feelings, and the thoughts I may have been having toward anyone. Sometimes those thoughts are not clear and we don’t always know where they are coming from or who they are directed at but God knows.

He also has the power and authority to forgive and heal our thoughts and attitudes. 

Sometimes, like this Hebrews verse says, His Word needs to pierce into our soul and judge the thoughts and attitudes of our heart so He can remove them and train us in the way he wants us to go.

In our world today, we often times don’t want anyone judging our thoughts, our actions, or our attitudes. We feel like we have ownership over them and they become off-limits.

Sometimes those thoughts, attitudes, and desires of our hearts are breaking our fellowship with Him and they need corrected, possibly rebuked, and retrained.

His Word can guide us. It can lead us in the way He wants us to go. We have to be willing to take the first step. Open God’s Word today. He has something He needs to tell you.

Grass withers and flowers fade away, when the LORD's breath blows on them, but the word of our God will stand forever. Isaiah 40:8

A Safe Place to Land

The other day a lady said to me, watching my child play around, “If you could bottle that energy, I would like some of it.” I quickly responded, “If I could bottle that energy, I would use it.
Being the mom of busy youngsters, I always feel like I am ON. Like a switch with no OFF button. Not necessarily because they are so busy but because I feel like if I am not protecting them in all that busyness, they are going to get hurt.
When we had our first child, like many new parents, I was on top guard. From the watchtower, I was ready for any kind of ambush.

Most parents can relate, you don’t want anyone to get too close to your little precious newborn because they might break. You smile through those uncomfortable moments when someone asks to hold your sweet darling as you kindly tell them they’re a bit fussy today.  You don’t want anyone to breathe on them or they might get sick. The list goes on and on….it is exhausting just thinking about all those protective measures that we take.
Between my first and second child we lost three during pregnancy, twins at 5 months and one at 8 weeks. So the reality of losing children had gone beyond a fear. When my second child arrived, I was nearly in full on panic mode. I was so fearful that something would happen to him and I was gripped by this fear.

I became hyper-helicopter momma. Everything my kids did had to meet my approval. It had to be safe and free from any chance of losing them.
I was so gripped by the fear of something happening to them I would tell myself if anything did happen to them then I myself would die. I believed they would only be okay if they were in my constant care. I would be the one to keep them safe.

Most parents can relate to the fact that parenting comes with many fears.
I not only feared losing them but feared something possibly happening to me. Then who would keep them safe? My husband is a great father but I couldn’t fathom who could take care of them when he was away?

I was absolutely afraid to die. I was afraid to leave my kids. I was afraid of all these unknown factors that I could not predict or control, and this fear had a tight grasp on my life.
Fears or anxieties are often times things that have not yet happened to us.  Maybe we fear our child falling and even if they have fallen they have not fallen more times than they have.

Some fear is okay. It keeps us alert and aware of some present dangers. Some fears, however, control our lives to the point of putting us in bondage to something that is out of our control.

I learned through grieving the loss of babies, God completely had His hand on me. I trusted Him to get me through a time I alone could not bear. I poured out my heart to Him, and he was always my safe landing place.

One of my favorite verses is Philippians 4:6-7, Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I could say this verse. I knew what it meant. I had seen the hand of God give me a peace that I could not comprehend and He had consistently guarded my heart and mind. I trusted His promise.
But then it came to my kids that were in my hands. I wasn’t so sure that I could always keep them safe and I began trying to control every situation for fear of not being able to handle life if anything happened to them.

One night, after a Bible study discussion, I just started crying. I said to my grandma (who shares similar life circumstances) “I have been so afraid of losing my kids and I thought if anything would happen to them I would just die, literally die. Tonight I realized, I have already lost three children and I didn’t die. God rescued me. He protected me. He saved me then and He would do it again.”
The fears that I was holding on to were not becoming a reality. I was so consumed by them, I couldn’t see clearly.

In reality, I had beautiful children. God, not me, was protecting them around the clock. Because as much as I hovered over them, their lives still were not in my grips. Their ultimate safety, as safe as I try to be, in not in my hands.
I had to be able to release that fear so I could be the mom they needed me to be. I had to ask God for forgiveness for not trusting Him with these little lives. I had to be able to not only know the promises of God but I had to believe them to be true for my life.

Psalm 62:8 says, O my people, trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart to Him, for God is our refuge.

David reminds us in this Psalm to trust the Lord at ALL times. Does this mean with my children? Absolutely.
We can continue to live with those fears that have a hold of us or we can be pour our hearts out to God. I love the promise that follows. For God is our refuge. He is our safe place.

Safety is a concern with our children but it is no longer my fear. I have released my fears to God. I have literally poured my heart out to Him and safely landed in His arms. I have decided my only option is to trust His love for my kids is greater than my own. He is not only my refuge but He is theirs.
I am wondering if anyone reading this needs a safe place to land. Do you need a refuge or a place to pour out your heart? I urge you not to wait another moment, pour out your heart today.

Please SHARE this with the people in your life. Continue the discussion in the comments below.

 Related Posts: Expecting the Unexpected and He Can Move Mountains

Anchored In The Cross

Over the past few days I have been having “one of those days”. I woke up and just didn’t feel quite like myself. No matter what I was trying I just couldn’t shake the feeling. I wanted to cry, I felt so frustrated.
Anyone ever have those kind of days?

Of course, I am not alone in my feelings but that is exactly how I felt, alone. I felt like everything was coming down on me at once.

My head kept filling with the lies that I wasn’t good enough, mom enough, smart enough, tall enough, skinny enough, outgoing enough, enough of a friend, just purely not enough.
I kept reminding myself that God’s promises are bigger than I am and I just kept clinging to all that I know. I was crying out to Him, a couple of times literally, for a rescue from these feelings.

I know when I feel alone, I am promised from God that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I felt, however, like I was reaching out and grabbing at nothing.
I asked God why I was feeling alone and told Him I knew this was not true and knew He was by my side.

I began to pray for God to rescue me from these feelings and I was sure that He would. I continued to however, perpetuate these thoughts. They began to pull me down like a heavy weight.

Sometimes the assurance doesn’t come so quickly or as easily as we would like. Sometimes we get caught up in the whirlwind of our emotions and they begin to take over.

The fact is,

          I can choose to be anchored to these lies…

 I can continue to sink into a downward spiral until I am in over my head…

          I can choose to drown in my self-doubt…


I can choose to be anchored to the cross.

At the cross, I receive the grace and mercy of a loving Father. At the cross, I receive the promises Christ has given to his children. At the cross, I receive the rest I need for my weary soul to be strengthened for the next step in my journey.
Hebrews 6:19 says: We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain

The hope in the salvation of cross is real. It is what we can stand firm on when our hearts and our heads begin to get weary and all of life comes pouring in on us.
This hope is more than I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow or I hope the grocery store is having a sale on strawberries.

This hope is grounded in something sure, certain and secure. This hope is standing firm in the Salvation of Christ and being able to approach His throne with confidence.

Psalm 62:5-7 Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

This Psalm is a beautiful reminder or our Great and Mighty Lord in the midst of our weariness. In the middle of life’s complications we can be assured that our hope comes from God alone.
I am not my feelings today. I am not the circumstances that surround me. My anchor is set outside my rocking ship.

I can pour out my heart to God and there I will find shelter. I can expect Him to be a solid ground to rest my feet upon.

He is my rock, my fortress, my refuge, my defense, my salvation, my honor depend on Him alone. With God, I will not be shaken.

Does anyone need that reminder today like I do?

Does anyone have a weary heart or head that could use a little rest and assurance?  

Jesus says in John 15:26 says: I will send you the Advocate – the Spirit of Truth. He will come to you from the Father and will testify all about me.
I often times have songs in my head, but only a couple of lines and I sing them all day. Yesterday, I asked God for help. Today, I had this song play over in my head, “Holy Spirit, You are welcome here. Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere." This beautiful song is by Francesca Battistelli.

God has sent help, the Advocate, the Spirit of Truth, the Holy Spirit. If you have accepted Christ, He has come to intercede on your behalf.

He will give you a renewed strength. He will comfort you, encourage you, and give you counsel in those times when life hurls all it has in your direction.
He will testify to the truth that Christ took it all at the cross. He will testify to the truth of God’s promises for His children.

What or Whom will you choose to be anchored to today?

Read last weeks post, Expecting the Unexpected

Be Still

Be Still
Be Still My Friends! You can rest assure that God is in Control.

For Sharing...

Seeking God

Hope In Him Alone!

Hope In Him Alone!
Thank You, Lord, for deciding who I am!

Seek Him First! Today's Bible Reading

James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

It is of utmost importance that you know that Christ died for you. He died for all sinners so that our relationship with Him could be restored.

Because of His sacrifice on the cross we can have peace. Are you seeking more peace today? Peace of the soul can only be given through the redemptive power of Jesus Christ.

I hope that you, too, know the saving grace of an amazing God.
If you have questions about how to know more you can email me at

2 Timothy 1:7